Icy Longing

December. Oh My God. The year just started, it's unbelievable that 11.5 months, 50 weeks, 348 days, 8352 hours passed in a blink. 2019, a truly different year. This year I realized everything has a motive. Everything. But these chilly months had their own uniqueness to them. The natural paradigm shift affected many around the world, but the shift that affected me was the mentality paradigm shift. I underwent a phase. One that was nowhere near the size of everybody's ego these days, but still, quite huge. In this world, where time told to change the way we think, my first pre-board exams just finished and soon the second were going to start followed by the final board exams. You know, typical stage in our school life, according to everyone, even the neighbour who doesn't care about your life. This was the best and the worst thing that could happen to help me escape the friendship crap and enter a totally new kind of crap. Believe me when I say it 'crap'. Teenage friendships... No way to describe it. I mean, everyone is everyone's friend and people are not talking to you because they're angry, now you don't know what you did and the world comes crashing at you because people misinterpret what you said to someone else. A lot, lot of frustration.

While almost every single thing is either in danger or dead or on the verge of being dead, the temperature fell like a ball from the top of a building in a physics experiment. And when this was not enough, the Gods started crying through the clouds making it even more difficult for the people below to live. Not to forget, when it rained at the foothills, it snowed a few miles away in the mountains. With this fact in our minds and suggestions from my uncle, we quickly finalized an act of breaking free from the confinement of our house walls and daily life by arranging a expeditious trip to the nearest place where a snowman could be made. Coats and jackets rapidly made their way out of the old suitcases and the car engine was ignited. I switched on my phone and checked if the Internet network was strong enough to stream music online. I mean, I don't mind listening to all the jibber-jabber my mom was causing but I preferred music with breathtaking views. Well, network was as strong as an insect stuck in a Venus flytrap so streaming music wasn't an option. Luckily, I had my favourites downloaded. As we approached near the hills, the black flies flew out of my jacket pocket and sat in my ears. I hit play and I was in a different world. The one without all miseries, problems and turmoils but with beautiful vistas. Every single song forced my heart to sing along but my mind told me to keep shut and not make myself look like an idiot.

Wonderful sights at each turn and then, my eyes were blessed as they were stuck at the snow scape above which the sun shone bright. I lowered my window glass to see a more clearer view but the cold breeze hit me in the face in a way that felt like it told me to rethink what I was doing. In the same moment, my little brother smacked me in the arm and yelled at me to close the window. I closed it and sat still watching the distinct outlooks. It was the first time I was going to see snow irl. I was so happy about it that I posted a new photo on my Instagram story every half an hour. In a hour, we were moving in a single lane like ants, one after another. So many cars lined up moving in a snail speed. Suddenly, everything was messed up. The cars coming downhill gave a rise to traffic. After at least half hour of commotion, we were able to park our car and play in the snow. It was SO COLD! I mean, it is supposed to be cold but, it was SO DAMN COLD! I wasn't able to feel my hands in only 5 minutes of holding the snow.

We clicked few pictures to make this trip immortal in our memories, and in the photo albums as well. We spent two icy and pleasant hours playing in the snow and it was time to go back so we could reach the foothills till dusk. The drive downhill was faster. My downloaded playlist was about to finish. At that very moment, my eyes darted towards the other playlists I had offline and there it was, the playlist named as, 'OneD'. I smirked at myself and hit shuffle. The opening of the first song was extremely familiar...

Been a lot of places, I've been all around the world...

The next words filled my mouth and I mouthed them along.

Seen a lot of faces, never knowing where I was...

I experienced a difference as my mind related the words to me and my surroundings.

On the horizon, um, and I know, I know, I know, the sun will be rising back home..

Even though I spent most of my time with my family and friends, I felt a jolt of truth striking me that even though I was physically always there but not emotionally present maybe. The second verse commenced with Niall's voice and I felt a rumble of emotions fly through me. Soon the chorus chimed,

Don't forget where you belong, home
Don't forget where you belong, home...

Realized that I may feel neglected and ignored, I may feel that nobody cares about me or my opinion or my likes-dislikes but deep down, maybe people, at least some of them, do care about me.

If you ever feel alone, don't
You were never on your own...

I smiled internally that my friends can't ever forget a specimen like me. Well, I hope they never do. I grinned out of the window at the next lyric but it was worth it.

And the proof is in this song...

The song ended after a minute and the next song began with Harry's resonant voice. I was not able to concentrate fully at it as I still wondered that how a 5 or maybe 6 year old song can change the way a person thinks. Maybe for just a while but it can.


By the time we reached home, I was feeling sleepy even though the watch just marked 6 o'clock. I mentally went through the whole day I'd spent. To be honest, I was satisfied regarding the successful hours that had passed.